


Guilty Love

by VaultBot



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Banter, Comedy, Crack, F/M, Foreplay, Hanabi's pov, Humor, Non-Canon Relationship, Pining, Satire, Sexual Tension, Stalking, Teasing, but it should be, no lemon though, not really yandere but kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:00:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27701065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VaultBot/pseuds/VaultBot
Summary: There's always a breaking point when it comes to waiting for an idiot to notice your feelings...
Relationships: Hyuuga Hanabi/Sarutobi Konohamaru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	Guilty Love

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy! Don't take this work too seriously, I hope no one actually thinks this is what a healthy relationship looks like. I considered writing smut in this, but I didn't end up doing it. Maybe one day I'll have the courage to write a lemon. :P
> 
> Also, Kishimoto/Ikemoto/Literally any anime writer in Boruto, please do everyone a favour and make Konohamaru relevant again in the manga and anime. He hasn't showed up in 20+ chapters and he's been nerfed yet again in episode 175 - he’s following Gohan’s trajectory of peaking too early and I hate it…

Stupid sexy Konohamaru.

For as long as she could remember, the Hyuga heiress was in love with him.

Hanabi Hyuga tried everything to get him to notice her as a _woman_. He complimented her typical yellow and orange kimono once when they were teenagers, so she made sure to wear it in public ever since. Hanabi made sure to let just about every woman in Konoha know that he was _off-limits._ Somehow, the Sarutobi never even realized that this was the reason why he couldn’t get dates whenever he whined about it when he was drunk - most definitely not because of his physical appearance. On a related note, part of the reason she got a genin team was to see him more often as colleagues. The heiress was waiting for his dumb-ass to figure out that she liked him - Hanabi was a brat after all. She wouldn’t settle for anyone other than him, unless he really didn’t like her.

For fucks sake, she literally brought him to a lingerie store right now and he’s not even reacting at all!

Chasing him around for the past 10 years had some merits to it, but it was getting obnoxious at this point. She was starting to approach her late twenties, and most clan heirs have a spouse when they’re in their early twenties. Besides, she missed out on so much _quality time_ with him.

Hanabi would’ve made a move on him much earlier, but it seemed like he was _conveniently_ never around over the years except for hoildays and the occasional week he wasn’t doing anything. She swore the Sarutobi spent more time with the monkeys than he did in Konoha back in his teenage years. Then he joined ANBU in his early twenties, which meant he was away for weeks. He became a teacher briefly and now he was busy leading his genin team that had her nephew on it. That backfired a little on her, but she loved the girls enough to stay as Team 15’s leader.

Honestly, the heiress’ obsession with Konohamaru had gradually grown since they first met at Naruto and Hinata’s wedding at the tender age of fourteen. Then they talked at every holiday party her sister threw with Naruto, being the only ones around the same age at those only helped to further develop their friendship. Or one-sided attraction on her side, apparently. He was also there when Boruto and Himawari were born - Naruto invited him and thought it would only be right for his _little bro_ to be there to hold his newborn children. Hanabi agreed, of course. It was nice having Naruto around - he already regarded Konohamaru as his little brother and probably wanted this to happen as much as she did, although she never told him about her, um, _healthy addiction_. Her relationship, her terms, no one interferes.

It hadn’t been awful though. Hanabi supposed they were close friends. Not all friends got shitfaced together as often as they did. They also trained with each other frequently, and went on the occasional mission in that brief year where he was a teacher at the academy. But she wanted it to be _more_. Preferably ending with lots of kids, too.

Enough was enough. Today, either her hopes and dreams were going to be crushed, or Konohamaru was going to unofficially join the family. And officially join soon after.

Step one of her plan: dragging him out to the commerce district of Konoha on this Saturday morning.

“Come on _, senpai!_ You act like such an old fart, sometimes. What happened to the prankster that used to terrorize Konoha?” Hanabi cheerfully asked, browsing through the racks of lacy underwear.

Konohamaru looked miserable, carrying a few bags filled with items and gifts that she had bought. It was almost the Rinne Festival; plenty of gifts to purchase. It was fun too, teasing him and making him do things he didn’t really want to do. Honestly, Hanabi had no idea why he let her get away with half the things she typically pulled. It was one of the reasons why she was still holding out hope that he liked her - the fact that he was so _whipped_ for her for no real reason. Then again, he was _whipped_ for everyone, from what she’d seen…

“I grew up. And _you_ act like you found the springtime of youth that Lee-san is always rambling on about…” Konohamaru grumbled.

The heiress stuck her tongue out at him, causing the Sarutobi to do the same in response. It probably looked weird to onlookers, seeing the duo act so childish around each other. Their friendship had always been a childish one though, filled with lots of teasing and joking around.

He also looked really _hot_ in his peacoat with his typical scarf, perfectly filling out the brunette’s look and giving him some _style_ that he didn’t normally exude, but that was besides the point.

There were more reasons why she liked him, other than him being attractive. She liked Konohamaru more for his character anyways. Watching him teach Mirai her first fire jutsu was adorable to watch. Boruto and Himawari clearly saw him as an older brother/uncle figure. He was always bending over backwards to help out the kids in his clan with training. She also knew just how much thankless work he did for his clan, most of the time no one even realizing it. A real _goodneighbour,_ him. He was also by far the strongest member of his clan and was popular there too. He really was the complete package, if you ignored how _uncool, lame_ and _cringey_ he was to the people that he was closest with, which included her apparently. Hanabi didn’t mind it at all though, if anything, she _liked_ that.

She wasn’t entirely sure why Konohamaru hadn’t been made the clan head or was the leading candidate, even if he didn’t want to do it - the Sarutobi were weird, what kind of clan uses _democracy_ to decide a leader? It worked out in her favour though, since there’d probably be less complications if they _theoretically_ married since he was just an ordinary member.

Okay, maybe she was a little obsessed. She learned from the best, after all. Her sister’s strategy of _stalking with Byakugan_ and _following the guy around_ seemed to work out just fine with Naruto. Hanabi determined that it had to work with Konohamaru too, since Naruto was his idol and master and so he picked up plenty of personality quirks from him. Basically the same person. Proof by induction, really.

Yes, there was plenty to love about him. Not her fault he made it so easy to _simp_ for him. Right now he seemed lost in thought though, his brilliant blue eyes unfocused. Hanabi decided to break the silence between them.

“Hellooo! Earth to _senpai!_ Do you think onee-san would like this?”

Hanabi had a very lacy pair of lingerie in her hands that she was holding up to her own chest, which caused him to raise his eyebrows. Nothing. Barely a reaction if she could even call it one, no blush, nothing. Still an impossible book to read. Hanabi knew Konohamaru was a bit of a pervert back in his hey-day, but he seemed to have reformed since then. Unfortunate for her, since it made it all the more harder to know what was on his mind. Well, he was mostly reformed. Not many knew that he was the one who taught Boruto how to use the sexy jutsu as a joke, but she was one of them…

“I’d think Hokage-sama would like that more than she would to be honest, but that’s just like, my _opinion_ ,” Konohamaru bluntly stated.

Her face quickly turned to one of disgust.

“Ew, Kono! I don’t want to think about their sex life!”

“Yeah, well, you’re the one who brought it up first, holding that.”

She ignored that truthful statement. Right now, she wanted to get a rise out of him. Gotta test the waters before she followed through with her plan. “Hm… maybe I should buy it for myself then! It looks great!”

The bait had been set…

He snorted at that, which prompted another change in her expression. Hook, line, and sinker. Konohamaru seemed to realize what he had inadvertently done, panic written on his face.

“I know what you’re thinking about!” Hanabi started hamming it up.

“Have no clue what you’re talking about, Hanabi,” Konohamaru’s eyes quickly shifted towards the exit of the store.

Oh? Trying to escape? Might as well put on a show for everyone.

“I know you’re thinking about the difference in the size of our _tits_! It’s not my fault onee-san took all of those genes!” Hanabi whined loudly, trying to get everyone in the store to hear.

There was a little bit of truth to that, but she didn’t _really_ care. Well, for the most part. Fighting was a lot easier when her chest wasn’t that heavy, so she had learned from her sister. But it’d be unfortunate if he did like boobs better - she didn’t know what part of the female anatomy Konohamaru even liked. Hopefully, he was an _ass man…_

“Please don’t project, Hanabi. I’ve already listened to this hundreds of times whenever you get drunk, I don’t really want to listen to it again when we’re both sober…” Konohamaru pleaded.

The other women in the store were trying their hardest not to laugh at the two of them, as Hanabi continued to pout. The heiress had been born without the ability to feel shame, which made teasing Konohamaru like this all the more easier. He seemed mildly annoyed but he was blushing, which was good. Speaking of which, he looked like he was a million miles away again…

“Kono! You can’t just keep zoning out on me like this!”

“Huh?”

He snapped back to reality, as Hanabi was a little impatient, cheeks puffed.

“I dragged you out here to _help_ me! Not for you to look constipated while mulling something over.”

“I _didn’t_ look constipated! I was just thinking about something, uh, important! Besides, why did you even drag me out here anyways? Today was my day to sleep in, you know…”

“I’m sure you were. Thinking about _training_ again?”

“…I can’t confirm or deny anything.”

“Of course you were. Do you ever think about yourself sometimes? You never have fun and go out anymore, it’s just training, training, training, mission with Boruto and friends, back to training, occasionally teaching some kids in your clan, training, training, hanging out with _monkeys_. So boring! This is for your own good, _senpai_.”

He looked confused and opened his mouth to say something. Hanabi cut him off quickly, though.

“ _But, my Ninja Way, Hanabi!”_ Hanabi mocked, in a tone that she tried to make sound like him, but butchered instead.

“I’m not gonna even go there. Besides, the monkeys are a riot! I dunno why you hate them so much.”

Well, Hanabi wouldn’t have a problem with them, if their first instinct wasn’t to attack her when he summoned them, especially on the odd mission they did together. His summons always apologized and laughed it off after the battle was over, but she noticed the dirty looks they gave her and could’ve sworn one of them muttered, _begone thot,_ under their breath. That didn’t even make sense. She still hadn’t been deflowered yet…

“Anyways, can’t we talk about something else other than making fun of my non-existent social life? I thought the point of this trip was to help you find a gift for Boruto and Hima, not hang out in an _underwear store._ Unless you know something about them that I don't…” Konohamaru whined.

“And I got the perfect idea! Come on, follow me!”

Hanabi grabbed his wrist, much to the Sarutobi’s surprise.

“So demanding… has anyone ever told you _no_ before in your life?”

“Of course! How much I follow that depends on how much they _really_ mean it though. And you don’t mean it at all! Now come on!”

“…Why am I not surprised? Whatever, not like I have anything better to do…”

The other people in the store couldn’t help but laugh at the two as Hanabi dragged him out, a few of them recognizing the pair and wondering why they weren’t in a relationship yet.

* * *

The rest of the morning was pretty normal. Hanabi went on a shopping crusade, much to Konohamaru’s displeasure. He helped her bring back the dozens of shopping bags she purchased earlier back into the Hyuga compound, where her father was sipping tea on the front porch, reading a book and giving the struggling Sarutobi a smile and nod.

It was nice that Konohamaru and her father were on good terms. Konohamaru might’ve been the only guy Hiashi’d approve of to be her husband; the Sarutobi was way too overqualified. Konohamaru was respectful to her father, a strong ninja, a member of a distinguished clan, Naruto would personally vouch for him, been friends with her for over a decade, and he only had the purest intentions with her, judging by how he never made a move on her in that time. Really, there was nothing to dislike, from her completely _unbiased_ perspective.

Shame he didn’t have any _impure_ intentions…

“So, what do you want to do? Boruto’s doing something with Hima, Sarada and Sasuke-san’s training together, and Mitsuki’s doing who knows what right now. Unless you don’t want to do anything. Then you can catch me helping some kids with their first fireball,” Konohamaru questioned.

“Hmm… I know some things we could do together, _senpai_ …” Hanabi sinisterly trailed off, thoughts elsewhere. She stared pointedly at his pelvis, although he didn’t notice as he was sorting out the gifts she had bought on the dinner table.

Instead, Konohamaru sweatdropped, seemingly not liking her tone at all.

It was time to put the next stage in her plan into motion.

“Lets have a picnic!” Hanabi declared.

“…What!? It’s freezing!”

“Who cares, Kono! Such a stick in the mud. Just use one of your fire jutsus if you get cold, or something. _If_ you get cold.”

“I need wood to make a campfire! Unless you _want_ me to burn down Konoha. Speaking of which, how the hell are you not cold in that? I don’t really get why you wear it year-round…”

Konohamaru finally turned and looked at her, before pointing at her kimono. Hanabi shrugged in response, not wanting to tell him the real reason why.

“The power of youth?”

“You need to get away from Guy-san and Lee-san…”

The real answer was that she never really got cold when Hanabi was around him, surprisingly enough. Strange, that. Konohamaru _did_ have enormous chakra reserves for someone who wasn’t even a jinchuriki or a sage from what she observed in their spars, and he was a master at fire release as well, so that probably had to do with it. Speaking of which, she knew there was something else about him that was also enormous after activating the Byakugan…

“Kono, how the hell are your hands so big?”

“I dunno. Maybe tou-chan or kaa-chan? I wouldn’t know though.”

That’s right. His parents passed away before he was even out of diapers, so he never really got the chance to know them. Konohamaru seemed to get a little uncomfortable, so he changed the subject.

“Speaking of parents, why do you sometimes eat breakfast at my place? Doesn’t Hiashi-san get lonely?”

“He hasn’t eaten breakfast since okaa-san passed, so it was actually me who was lonely at breakfast. Besides, I started paying for all of your groceries, you know. You could be a little more _grateful_ …”

Surprisingly enough, Konohamaru was a lot less wealthy than she thought he would be, being the grandson of the Sandaime and all. His house was pretty small, and it was pretty barebones on the inside too. She tried giving him gifts to spice it up a little, but he always left them in the storage shed out by the back of his house, much to her displeasure. She couldn’t exactly come in and decorate it herself without making it seem weird, though. Well, weirder than she already was around him.

The Sarutobi rolled his eyes.

“Thanks, _sugar mama_. Let me pay for something, next time. It kinda hurts my pride whenever you pay for drinks, or food, or groceries, or _everything_ when we go out somewhere, you know.”

“Sorry, just a habit.”

Konohamaru frowned. Did she say something wrong?

“Look, I know I don’t exactly live in a big house and all, but it’s not like I’m flat broke, I love my current house. You don’t have to do this, although I appreciate it.”

“Wait, really? Why?”

“Cheap rent. Low utilities. It’s not like I’m home _that_ often anyways, I mainly use it to sleep, eat and shower. Lots of sentimental value since I lived there since I was three - that reminds me, has Naruto-erm, Hokage-sama changed that law yet? Kinda weird, how both of us were expected to live alone without a guardian.”

Hanabi snorted. Both at his statement, and how determined he was on calling her brother-in-law Hokage-sama now, instead of Naruto-nii-chan.

“Is that all? You still haven’t convinced me that you’re not living in poverty…”

“One word. _Stonks_!”

Hanabi blinked. Sometimes, she really didn’t understand him and his absurd sense of humour. Was this some newfangled slang they invented when she wasn’t looking? Maybe she’d ask her nephew or niece later.

This was distracting her anyways. She had a goal to achieve - Hanabi planned this out for weeks now.

“Well, come on! There’s plenty of food in the fridge, we’re going out to the Hokage monument!”

Hanabi grabbed his right hand - very warm and nice, her smaller hand fit right in to his larger one perfectly - and started dragging him across the room as he started objecting incoherently.

Hiashi took a sip of his tea outside, as he watched the scene unfold with his Byakugan before chuckling.

* * *

Okay, maybe Hanabi underestimated as to how windy it was this afternoon. Maybe she was a _little_ cold. Not even his chakra could cure her shivers right now.

The view was gorgeous from the top of the Hokage faces though. His grandfather’s, to be more specific. A light flurry of snow falling, a blanket of white covered over the tops of the buildings in Konoha. Perfect day for a date. If this even counted as one.

Konohamaru was laughing about some story involving her nephew and the rest of his team as they ate some snacks from the picnic basket she brought along with her - damn, he really did look attractive when he was happy - and Hanabi was really only honed in on his scarf.

Konohamaru’s scarf. His trademark. Good thing she didn’t make the same mistake as her sister did, with the scarf. Hanabi thought about knitting one for him when she was younger, before stalk- erm, doing her _due diligence._ She was near certain that it would’ve ended as another Naruto situation, maybe even more likely because it was the _only_ thing his parents left him behind.

Speaking of which…

“Alright, enough’s enough, you’re obviously cold, come over here,” Konohamaru stated beside her, unwrapping his scarf to Hanabi’s surprise.

She didn’t expect his next move - to lean over to her and begin wrapping the scarf around her neck.

Hanabi was about to explode with joy. One small step for the Hyuga. One giant leap for Hanabi. She debated right then and there to confess, although she was a little preoccupied with seeing Konohamaru without his scarf. Well, she’d seen him without it plenty of times before from when she broke into his house in the mornings for breakfast, but Hanabi never saw him in normal outdoor clothes without it, aside from that weird teenage phase he had. His bare neck simply looked… _delicious_. The scarf itself smelled like a mix of his aftershave and his body wash. In other words, Konohamaru’s smell. Mmm…

The more important fact was that Konohamaru doesn’t take off his scarf for anyone, ever. Which meant that she had to mean _something_ to him. Right? _Right?_

Well, it was time to start putting her plan into motion. Hanabi sprung the question on him just as he finished up wrapping it around her. A question she already knew the answer to, but it’d help transition the confession a little more smoothly.

“Hey Kono, found any girlfriends lately?”

“Of course not. Perfectly fine without one too, life’s hectic enough.”

“That’s not what I heard… who was that Remon girl Boruto was babbling about?”

Hanabi was bitter, thinking about that. She did a pretty good job at scaring away most women from _her man._ Remon threw a wrench into her carefully constructed plans, especially because Boruto mentioned how he had shown more signs of liking her than he ever did with the heiress herself.

“I dunno. I might’ve liked her, but who knows? I didn't _really_ like her though, I just thought I did. She was engaged anyways, so not like it matters.”

“Oh my, _senpai,_ when did you turn into a homewrecker?”

“…Whatever. Besides, I’d rather move on from all of my failed attempts at starting relationships, especially because I’ve been trying to get over someone else for years-”

“WHAT!?”

Konohamaru looked like he was caught with his pants down, while Hanabi was completely caught off-guard by that. That was new to her. And she knew everything about him.

“Erm, nothing,” Konohamaru mumbled.

“No, no, no. Back up, you’re trying to get over a girl!?”

“Really, it’s nothing.”

“Tell me who.”

“I’d rather not.”

“ _Tell me right now_.”

“So spoiled. But no thanks, I’ll pass.”

“Kono, if you don’t tell me right now, I will personally _gentle fist_ your ass into the sun!”

“Okay, _fine_ , I’ve been trying to get over _you_ for the last decade _,_ are you happy!?” Konohamaru impulsively spat.

Hanabi’s brain short-circuited at that moment, as the only thing she was capable of doing was blankly staring at his face as his own started distorting into a look of horror at what he just admitted.

The heiress didn’t think twice - she didn’t expect _this_ to happen, but it was a blessing in disguise since it accelerated the process. She jumped on the Sarutobi, crashing her own lips into his and wrapping her arms around his neck. Hanabi slipped her tongue into his mouth, as she grabbed his face. Konohamaru seemed to be in shock, still as a statue. Hanabi broke away shortly after, slightly ticked off at the lack of participation.

“What are you doing, _senpai_? I thought we both wanted this, this is supposed to be fun! Work with me here…”

“Uh...”

“There seems to be no signs of intelligent life around…”

“…You _liked_ me?”

“ _Liked!?_ Kono, I’ve been in _love_ with you for years!”

“Uh, you have?”

“Why do you think I didn’t get married for the last 10 years!? I was waiting for your dumb-ass to get a hint!”

“...Yikes. Well, if the shoe fits…”

And finally, _finally,_ the love of her life made a move - he grabbed her thighs as leverage before moving her body onto his lap as he sat upright. Konohamaru wrapped his arms around her waist and she hooked her legs around his torso, as his lips met hers for a second time.

It was hot. And much more consensual than the last one. Her tongue quickly overpowered his though, allowing her to explore his mouth more thoroughly. She felt his hands snake down to her ass, giving it a squeeze. That answered _that_ question from earlier. Thank goodness, it was the one part of her body she was proud of. Hanabi moaned into his mouth, as the two of them to continued their lip-locking session. Ages went by, before Hanabi finally ended it.

“We could’ve done this for so long, you idiot…” Hanabi whined into his neck.

“Well, sucks you chose me - the most oblivious ninja in the world - to fall in love with. I was perfectly ready to live my single, hermit life in my community. I gave up on this as a teenager you know, with inter-clan relationships involving the Hyuga and whatnot. Thought I had no chance from the start. Not that I mind this.”

“Dumbass. Look at Naruto and onee-san.”

“I thought they were the exception, not the rule!”

Hanabi mewled happily as Konohamaru tilted her face up with one of his hands and kissed her once more, this one much more intimate than the last two. While the other two kisses were spurred by _lust,_ this one was more gentle, more sweet and romantic. Who knew that _her_ dork was this smooth? Hanabi wondered something though, as the kiss ended.

"We just made out on the Sandaime's stone head, how do you feel about that?"

"Um, don't ruin the moment please..."

“Hmm… That reminds me. Are you a virgin? Because I saved myself for you, you know.”

“Um… No?”

“WHAT!” Hanabi was fuming. She thought both of them were...

“It was an _entanglement,_ okay!? I lost my virginity as an accident when I was on a mission once when I was a lot younger…” Konohamaru grumbled, shivering a little, looking like he remembered something very unpleasant.

“Tell me how, right now!”

“I’d rather not. This time, I’d _really_ rather not. If it makes you feel any better, it wasn’t anything special. Our kisses right now were way better.”

“…Well, that’s fine. All that means is that I’ll have to do better than that _bitch_ when we do _it_ …” Hanabi purred, wrapping her arms a little tighter around his neck. She could practically feel his gulp.

“Also, this means I have full access to your clothes, right? I’ll probably take your entire wardrobe, I like the smell of _you..._ ” Hanabi wondered aloud, playing with his scarf to prove a point.

“You want me to run around naked!?”

“Yes- Actually, you know what, maybe not. Can’t let anyone else appreciate this chiselled bod. _Mine._ Speaking of which, I’ve done lots of weird stuff around you over the years, you know. How did you not realize anything was off? Me stalking you occasionally, breaking into your house, watching you sleep in the mornings, restocking your fridge, stealing your food, you almost finding my shrine of you in my closet…”

Konohamaru blinked.

“What the fuck!?”

“Oh, nothing, _senpai_. Unless you _really_ want to know about my shrine-”

“ _You_ were the one who was stealing my leftovers!? I can’t believe this!”

“…Okay, _senpai_. _That’s_ what you got out of my confession? You’re _so_ weird.”

“I really liked some of that food you know..."

"Mmhmm..."

"Anyways, you should’ve known what you were getting yourself into, no? And you’re lucky I was in love with you from the start too. Otherwise, I would’ve ran away with the monkeys and never would’ve come back, those are a lot of _red flags_. Good thing I appreciate every part of you, even with the stalking, creepiness and general craziness.”

She never felt happier at that moment, knowing that she didn’t have to be anyone else around him.

“Like I’d let you run away anywhere, you old fart.” Hanabi laughed, looking up at his eyes to give him a cheeky smile.

“This is what I mean - just dial it down and don’t evolve into a _yandere_ or something. Also, I’m only one year older than you…”

“No promises~”

Hanabi started giggling as she kissed his neck with a little more vigor, eliciting a groan out of him. It was also weird, seeing him not having his scarf around his neck - he looked a little exposed. It kept her nice and toasty though, maybe she could ask him if she could keep it? But the more pressing matter was, _why the hell were they still out here in the cold?_

“Are you going to let us freeze out here, Kono!? I want a bed and sheets. And preferably you too, naked. I already know what you’re _packing_ under there, the Byakugan is really great for stuff like that! Can’t wait to get in on that action…”

Konohamaru blushed, while Hanabi continued laughing to herself into his neck. This was really just the result of years of _sexual frustration_.

“Fine, fine. My place, right?”

“Obviously. I don’t think otou-san would appreciate hearing me getting _fucked_. Or maybe he would, who knows what he likes."

"Pause. How do I delete something from my imagination? Cursed. This is your _fault..._ "

“Is that any way to talk to your _future_ wife? You’re okay with getting married in a couple of months, right? We’ve basically been married since we were teenagers, you know. All the things I've done for you...”

Konohamaru rolled his eyes, as Hanabi continued to nip his neck aggressively, causing a groan to come out of his mouth.

“Stop doing this in public!”

“I can’t help it when I’m _horny!_ You know how many years I’ve been waiting for this?”

“I can’t even begin to imagine, you should’ve said something earlier. A more obvious sign for my negative perception.”

“You have just as much fault in this you know, so you better reward me with lots of make-up sex, _senpai_.”

“That doesn’t even make sense. Isn’t the opposite also true for that?”

Konohamaru scooped up the heiress into his arms, standing up and carrying her bridal style. Smooth. Hanabi didn’t even have to move a muscle as she snuggled in closer to the warmth of his body. He hooked the handle of the picnic basket onto his boot, before kicking it up towards the heiress. Hanabi let go of one arm around his neck as she caught it.

“Speaking of which, are you serious about that, by the way?” Konohamaru asked.

“What?”

“Marriage.”

“…Do you not want to marry me?” Hanabi felt her heart drop from that - was he really only in this for a quick fuck? There was no way, right? Not like this. This can't be happening. Hanabi wanted a future to believe in - wasn't he supposed to like her? This is so fucked...

“Of course I do! Wait, that came out wrong…” Konohamaru blurted, ending it a little bashfully, ears going pink. Hanabi was relieved, lighting up like a flip of a switch.

“Was that just a proposal? Kono, I know you’re lame and all, but come on, even I could’ve done better…” Hanabi smirked.

“Okay, my point is that we should live together for a bit before you just decide I’m your husband. Unlike you, I need time to adjust to new settings. You know what I’m saying?”

“Hmm… okay. As long as you need then. Until the end of the year, anyways. So ten days.”

Konohamaru snorted as he prepared to jump off the Hokage monument.

“Hey, Hanabi.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you. Don’t forget that.”

“…Good. And we _both_ know what my feelings are, yes?”

The heiress grinned and clung onto his warm body as the Sarutobi shook his head with the ghost of a smile on his face, as he pushed off from his grandfather's stone face, flying through the air as the pair went off to do some _other_ activities…

* * *

Hiashi smiled as he finished reading his current novel. Somehow, he knew that his _keikaku_ had worked. It was like a sixth sense for him. Part one, Naruto and Hinata, done years ago. Hanabi and Konohamaru was his side project for over a decade, which finally finished today. Took them long enough. Now, time to move on to the next stage; Boruto and that Uchiha girl. It was about time to introduce the Sharingan into the family.

Being a Eugenicist had never been so easy…

**Author's Note:**

> I mainly wrote this over the course of a few weeks as a form of stress relief from school, so there might be a couple of things I forgot to take out because I ended up moving where some jokes would be, although I didn't catch any, I think. Had a lot of fun writing this, although it's probably not the most well written work I've done. I actually debated on whether I should upload this or not for that reason, but reading it over made me smile, so I decided as long as I made one person laugh as they read this, then mission complete.
> 
> Hiashi's Master Plan is the greatest shitpost/theory I've ever read, couldn't help but throw it in when the rest of the fic was already crack haha
> 
> I'll probably do a more serious fic with these two again, but that's going to be in the future. I want to write about a couple of other things first.
> 
> Onto the next one!


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